The table is set, the serving spoons are moving, and someone passes the sweet potatoes. For most people, it’s just dinner. For someone living with diabetes, it can also be a quiet string of decisions, with the added worry that someone across the table is watching.
That emotional weight is the part of diabetes and mental health that doesn’t always get enough attention. It’s the focus of this Healthy Delaware segment from DETV’s Good Morning Delaware, sponsored by the Behavioral Health Consortium. For National Diabetes Month in November, Ivan Thomas and Vincenza Carrieri-Russo talk about the feelings that can come with diabetes and how the rest of us can help.
Diabetes and Mental Health: More Than Food and Numbers
“Managing diabetes isn’t just about watching what you eat or checking your blood sugar,” Vincenza says in the segment. It can also bring stress, anxiety, frustration and even guilt, she explains, especially around the holidays.
Holiday stress can run high when so much of the season centers on food. For someone with diabetes, Ivan says, “something as simple as sitting down for dinner can come with added pressure about what they should or shouldn’t eat.”
What Is Diabetes Distress?
Vincenza explains that some of these feelings have a name: diabetes distress. She describes it as “the emotional burden of managing diabetes day after day,” from keeping up with medications to monitoring blood sugar and making daily health decisions.
According to the CDC, diabetes distress can look like:
- Feeling overwhelmed by daily diabetes tasks
- Worrying about high or low blood sugar, medicine costs or complications
- Feeling frustrated, tired or unable to make decisions about your care
Diabetes distress is not the same as clinical depression. The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases describes it as an emotional response to living with diabetes and says that, unlike depression, it isn’t considered a mental illness. The two can overlap and be hard to tell apart, so a healthcare professional is the right person to help sort out what’s going on.
When Kind Words Land the Wrong Way
Ivan says the people around us don’t always realize how much all of this weighs on someone. Even a well-meaning comment like “Should you be eating that?” can “create feelings of shame or judgment.”
Those comments usually come from love, but at a crowded table, concern can sound a lot like criticism. The CDC’s holiday guidance advises against telling friends or family with diabetes what they should eat.
Supporting Someone With Diabetes: What to Say Instead
These suggestions aren’t from the segment, but they can help keep the focus on the person rather than the plate:
- Instead of “Should you be eating that?” try “I’m so glad you’re here.”
- Instead of “Have you checked your blood sugar?” try “Is there anything that would make today easier?”
- Instead of “You need to be more careful,” try “I know how hard you work at this.”
Some people welcome reminders and others don’t, and those needs can change. The CDC offers a simple starting point: ask how you can help, then listen to the answer.
Simple Ways to Make Your Gathering More Welcoming
“Instead of policing someone’s plate, let’s focus on being supportive,” Vincenza says. She encourages families to ask how they can help, offer food options everyone can enjoy, and remember that managing diabetes looks different for every person.
Whether your family gathers in Wilmington, Dover or Sussex County, a few small steps can help:
- Offer a mix of dishes. Serve lighter options alongside the classics, with sauces on the side.
- Make plates a no-comment zone. This helps every guest, with or without diabetes.
- Plan more than the meal. A family walk or a board game gives everyone something else to share.
Leave food and medication decisions to the person with diabetes and their healthcare team.
If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed
If you’re living with diabetes, Ivan has a reminder: “You don’t have to manage everything alone.” Your healthcare team “can help you find support for both your physical and emotional health,” he says.
The CDC suggests asking for help if these feelings last more than a week or two. You can bring up diabetes and mental health concerns with your doctor, nurse or diabetes educator, ask about support groups, and let loved ones know what would help.
Vincenza adds a reminder to give yourself some grace. “One holiday meal doesn’t define your health journey,” she says.
Join the Conversation on Diabetes and Mental Health
As Ivan puts it, taking care of our health “also means taking care of our mental and emotional well-being.” When it comes to diabetes and mental health, that’s worth remembering in November and all year long.
What helps you feel welcome at the holiday table? Watch the full Healthy Delaware segment above, then share it with someone who might need the reminder.
For more from DETV, see our Healthy Delaware Report on diabetes prevention and 5 simple healthy habits to help prevent type 2 diabetes.
This article is general information and isn’t a substitute for medical advice.
